Friends

I am fortunate that I can make good friends. I needed them over the last three years. Wish some of our so-called friends, who had known what was going on, had said something. The outcome might have been different. Though, once one has taken the first step, getting the trust back is a long, arduous job.

I made friends in school, at University, while teaching. Some of these I have lost contact with but there are two who are still around. One is KFA, who is Ghanaian, and married an Austrian. I have visited him in Vienna and hopefully will do so again with the kids. He did Electrical Engineering - I ended up with loads of friends from the EE Dept because they seemed to run the Overseas Students Societies. We shared a flat for a year which was entertaining. It was always fun to observe K as he got into debates with people and ran rings round them.

The other one is PB, who was Head of Chemistry at my first teaching job. He was very supportive of me - wanted the school to use me properly. I was the highest qualified Chemist but the school used me to teach Physics. Anyway, I later got into aggravation with the school on grounds of Racism and P was always there to talk to, even if he did not understand the issues. He got very concerned at the effect of other  teachers' actions on me - I burst into tears in his room during a free period in school. The HoD and the deputy head (whose initials were HH - 88!) had been having fun at my expense in the staff room, doing an Asian accent, supposed to be mine. Had they ever actually heard me speak or was the turban too big a barrier? They then proceeded to make decisions which were discriminatory against me. My union here was a big help. They supported me without hesitation. Just in case you think I am paranoid, there two other Asian teachers in the school, who felt the same way about how how they were being treated. The Head's idea of doing research on Racism was going into the playground and asking two 13 year old Asian girls whether they thought there was any discrimination in the school.

Anyway, I digress. Since the split, it has become very apparent who my friends are. Some people whom I supported and thought were my friends turned their backs on me, which was disappointing. A couple of people in whom I confided passed the information straight along which was helpful. I kept half a dozen very good friends who have been brilliant. Kept me sane by talking and listening to me while I vented my anger and frustration.and misery, giving me a sanctuary to escape to, even though a couple of them had their own challenges. I have made really good friends with my neighbour. We have got on really well since they moved in last September.  We get on like a house on fire and her family are great. They held a huge bonfire party last year, the week before my one. We all had a whale of a time. R has never managed to live down the fact that a can of beans was in the bonfire by mistake, exploded and shot out and hit me on the arm, leaving a big mark on my sweatshirt and  huge bruise on my arm. Her family have been teasing her mercilessly about trying to kill her new neighbour......

Like I said, in other blogs, I made some good friends online and they have moved into my rl to an extent. We IM, FB and skype, so we pretty much know each other  - three pretty decent women who talk sense to me. Shame they live so far away. Things with AM are progressing slowly. Gives me a hard time but there's lots of fun and mischief too.:)